Thursday, January 26, 2012

Seven Story excerpt




Purpose


There was a forever. When all he got, was a moment to wonder. And then he was gone again. And each moment, he remembered the moments before. He wasn't counting, but the weight of the moments in his memory kept growing. Never enough time to learn anything. Just to wonder. And cry.
* * *
Then one time, he was warm, and there was sunlight on his closed eyes, and he had long enough to remember Toby.
* * *
And then something pulled his left eye open. He couldn't see, but he heard an unfamiliar voice.
"...he's a fighter. … … before Christmas."
Omar felt proud, having heard that. And he remembered Christmas. And the store.
* * *
He was hungry. Very hungry. He tried to sit up, but there was something holding him down. And he had no strength to push against it. He cried out.
* * *
Something cold and hard was in his mouth. He tried to spit it out, but it wouldn't move. Somebody was holding his head and something came out of the thing. Maybe it was milk.
* * *
Again, somebody was feeding him. He didn't try to spit it out this time. He opened his eyes. Things were blurry, and he couldn't recognize anything, but somebody was petting him and talking to him.
"Toby?"
* * *
Mr. Allison was sitting next to him, petting him. He tried to get up.
"No, not yet Omar. They still got you hooked up to all sorts of things."
"Toby?"
"Toby's waiting for you back at the store. He can't wait for you to get better."
* * *
Toby. Before he opened his eyes, he could feel Toby. Could smell him. Toby.
"Hi."
Toby stood up and licked the goop from Omar's eyes. "Hi Omar."
"What happened? Are you okay?"
"Everything's okay. It's a long story. I'll tell you later. But everything's okay."
* * *
He was inside the carrier. He remembered Mr. Allison carrying him into the store in it.
Mr. Allison was talking to the vet, and the carrier was sitting on the counter between them.
"… worth every penny. This guy's a hero." Mr. Allison leaned over and looked at Omar. "Aren't you, tough guy?"
Omar nodded. And then his eyes shut themselves.
"...give him one of these every four hours, and don't let him exert himself for..."
* * *
Ouch.

2 comments:

  1. There was a forever. When all he got, was a moment to wonder. And then he was gone again. And each moment, he remembered the moments before. He wasn't counting, but the weight of the moments in his memory kept growing. Never enough time to learn anything. Just to wonder. And cry.

    ___________

    I'm very particular about what will catch me and keep me reading, which I suppose is no different from anyone. This paragraph is a perfect example of great writing because I loved it and wanted this to keep going in book-length form.

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    Replies
    1. thanks so much! I really like that passage myself. I don't know if I could do it for a whole book, mainly because it's a little abstract I guess.

      I could send you a pdf of the book if you like.

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